The Shortest Day of the Year

I haven’t really had a bad day since landing in Norway, but today came close. I didn’t sleep well last night with all the thoughts running through my head on the “what ifs” if we buy the houses, and also if we don’t. I also feel such a burden for so many I love back home that are going through incredibly hard times right now, and if I didn’t have faith, I’d think the situations were all hopeless. One thought after another just starting piling up and next thing I know, I’m in tears having my own little pity party. I don’t like to feel this way, so I tried to focus on the positive, but for some reason, for the bulk of today anyway, that was impossible.

And to make matters worse, Kaleb has become incredibly disrespectful and disobedient ever since we gave him the Nintendo for his birthday. Whenever we ask him to do something, he takes at least 10 minutes before he responds as he insists he must “save” the game first, which often requires playing it just a little bit more. When we need to talk to him about something and ask him to put it on pause, he sits like a drug addict waiting for his next hit, pestering us as to just how many more minutes it will be before he can get back to his game. He’s completely glued to that thing and today we told him he could play it for only one hour a day from now on and never on Sundays. We tried for a week to get him to self-regulate and we gave him several warnings that he needs to be more respectful to us while he’s playing it, but he didn’t rise to the challenge. So today was the day to set him free from his addiction, and just like any “withdrawl,” it wasn’t pretty. This didn’t help my own situation one little bit and only led me into a deeper depression thinking I’ll have a son who hates me for life. Some days this parenting thing really bites.

We went to Agape Church this morning and put the word out that we are looking for possible renters if we buy the houses. I’m sure, given a few week’s time span, we could fill these houses up, but we had to set criteria that would classify as a miracle, otherwise it can’t be accredited to God’s leading. So, at this point, we don’t have a single person who would rent at the price we set, and the deadline is tomorrow morning (well, technically, it’s “morning” until noon). Only God can make this happen and if He doesn’t, I’ll be so relieved. Kory goes back and forth on it, so we really have no idea how this will play out.

I began a downward spiral in my thoughts today. This Christmas season just doesn’t feel right because all the traditions here are different and we don’t even have the tree up, which has bummed me out more than it should. I always look forward to Christmas carols during the Sundays in December, and we’ve yet to sing one at church. I was feeling like an outsider and not fitting in anywhere and also like I am letting God down by not being used more in some type of ministry. I just sat in church this morning crying and telling God he really needs to help me out of this pit because this isn’t anyplace I want to linger.

After church we came home and while Kaleb was reading a book and Kory was going around talking to neighbors, I laid in bed and felt sorry for myself. That might have been a first, but it was also the first time I experienced a day with less than three hours of daylight. But today is the day for turning corners, as tomorrow will be lighter longer than today and tomorrow is Monday, my favorite day of the week.

Tonight we went to Philadelphia Church’s special Christmas service and God was surely there. Someone we know invited us over for dinner this week, so then my pity-party feelings of not being included suddenly disappeared. During the service, we sang two Christmas songs I know – of course the words were in Norwegian but the melody was the old familiar tunes and that cheered me up immensely. Then after the service, a woman on staff asked if after the first of the year, I would be willing to lead a Bible study/home fellowship group for those who attend the church that only speak English. Hot dog! That was the ticket. God certainly heard my cry today and took care of all that ailed me in short order. Hallelujah! And I even noticed, by day’s end, that Kaleb was easier to be around. Sometimes I embarrass myself with how I behave and the things I think about. And I’m always in awe of how much God loves me and how meticulously he answers my prayers and hears my heart’s desires. Now if we can just get a Christmas tree up, life would be grand.